[Originally written: November 4, 2006]
As most of those that I know in real life already know, a good friend of mine, and many others, Zachary Metzger died on last Saturday, the 28th of October, 2006. Its been a week now. His funeral was yesturday, and he's still been on my mind, literally just about every minute, of everyday since I heard. And I'm sure it has been the same for most of his other friends, and definately his family. At his wake on Thusday night, I spoke to his mother. Crying, she told me that he loved me, and of course I cried back in response. Amanda, one of my other very good friends began to cry, almost hyterically, and handed 'One Last Doodle' to his father. It was a picture of the three of us at lunch last year (a drawn one). Zach with his newspaper and pizza, my raising my 'shit in a bag' (a sandwich I brought almost everyday, and by lunch time, that is what it resembled) up almost with pride. And Mander was holding her pencil, drawing. His sister then approached offering herself for us to talk to, trying to prevent us from taking our own lives, ever, like her little brother did. Then, his mother, father, and sister told us of the myspace comments that many of his friends left him, and commented how much it made them feel better and such. This touched me greatly.
Here's the comment I left on Zach's profile.
Wow. I wish I could write a long comment like Brian's, but I seem to be in too much shock right now, or denial rather. I don't want it to be true, and I hate the fact that it is.
Right now I have mixed emotions, I'm confused and don't know what to do, I'm extremely sad and already miss you a lot, and I'm somewhat mad.
I heard you took a gun to yourself. WHY!? You had, no, you have firends that love you, a family that cares, and so much more. I just wish you could've pulled through. If you were feeling depressed, why didn't you tell somebody. They could've helped you. You're such a great guy, and I feel so sad that you didn't realize that. I still can't believe it, and doubt I will until the funeral, but the tears have already begun to plummet to the ground.
Today, as I walked to the office, I just stood there, waiting for you to come down the stairs in between buildings one and two and to call me a fatass like you did almost everyday that I walked that way.
haha, good times.
And when we planned to start a lawn mowing buisness in ninth grade to earn all of that money. And in sixth grade, when we had that inside joke from Ed, Edd, and Eddy...buttered toast. Amazing.
The memories are amazing, and I miss them so much, we all do. I'm going to pray for you and your family. Now I'm sure you're up there in heaven watching us all, and I hope to see you there in another eighty years or so. Hey, then we can have a cloud mowing service, hahahaha! Love ya, man.
We miss you, and you'll never be forgotten.
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